Want to build confidence and become the greatest version of yourself? Looking for specific tools and advice that will help you boost your self-confidence right away? Let’s dive into all the best ways to build confidence!
In the journey of personal development, one of the most sought-after qualities is confidence. It’s the secret ingredient that propels us to seize opportunities, face challenges, and navigate the world with an assured stride. But confidence isn’t a switch you can flip on overnight. It’s a quality that’s cultivated over time, often through a series of trials, triumphs, and self-discovery. In this article, we’ll explore the concept of confidence and practical ways to build it.
As someone who struggled immensely with self confidence over the years, I’m here to tell you that it isn’t something that is reserved for only the few. And it isn’t something you’re born with either; it’s never too late to become confident. Like anything else in life, confidence is a skill that can be learned and applied for ANYONE!
No matter where you are in your journey, you’re just a few chess moves away from becoming your most confidence, badass version of yourself. All it takes is an open mind, an open heart, and a desire to change. You’re truly just one or two big epiphany moments from changing everything. So listen up and get ready to receive!
Drawing from the wisdom of experts and my real-world experiences, here’s a comprehensive and actionable guide to help you foster a stronger sense of self-assuredness. Below is the A-Z on how to build confidence in 2023.
Table of Contents
Before we get into all the best tips for building confidence, let’s first define what confidence is and how it plays a role in our lives.
What is confidence?
Confidence is a belief in one’s abilities. It’s the inner certainty that you can accomplish what you set out to do. Confidence isn’t about being the best or achieving perfection; it’s about knowing that you’re capable of learning, growing, and handling whatever comes your way.
The importance of confidence
Confidence plays a crucial role in every aspect of our lives. It influences our decision-making, our relationships, and how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. When we’re confident, we’re more likely to take risks, pursue our passions, and stand up for what we believe in. Confidence is the foundation upon which we build our potential.
In the next section, we’ll delve into the origins of confidence and self-doubt, providing a deeper understanding of these complex phenomena.
How confidence is built
Confidence is often rooted in our early experiences. As children, when we’re encouraged and affirmed, we develop a positive self-image and a belief in our abilities. We’re willing to take risks, like jumping off the swings or dancing freely in front of a crowd. This early confidence is a reflection of our innate sense of self-worth and potential.
However, as we grow older, our confidence can be shaped and sometimes shaken by life’s experiences. The feedback we receive, the challenges we face, and the societal expectations we encounter can either bolster our confidence or chip away at it.
Factors that erode confidence
Several factors can contribute to a decrease in confidence. Overly critical caregivers, peer rejection, or difficult transitions in life can all lead to a diminished sense of self-assuredness. Media representations and societal norms can also impact our confidence, particularly if we feel we don’t measure up to the ‘ideal’ standards portrayed.
I recently learned a LOT about childhood patterns at the Hoffman Institute, which offers one of the most transformational inner child retreats in the world. After that experience, I can say this… a lack of confidence is just a pattern, and we are not our patterns. It’s a subconscious program that often goes back to our childhoods, but it can be changed at any time. In each moment, each of us has a choice on how we want to act and who we want to become.
Awareness is the first step of transformation. Therefore, understanding these origins of confidence and self-doubt is the first step towards rebuilding and nurturing your self-confidence. In the following section, we’ll delve into the psychology of confidence and how our mindset plays a crucial role in our self-perception.
The psychology of confidence
Before we dig into all the different ways to enhance confidence, I first want to provide you with some quick context about how your mindset shapes your confidence.
The role of mindset in confidence
Our mindset plays a significant role in our level of confidence. Adopting a growth mindset, one that views abilities and intelligence as qualities that can be developed, can foster a stronger sense of self-confidence. This mindset encourages exploration beyond current skills and knowledge, keeping the possibility of improvement open.
So instead of saying “I’m not confident,” a growth mindset transforms the statement into “I’m not confident yet.” Here’s an even better affirmation: “I am getting more confident everyday.” This will help you indicate that confidence can be developed over time.
The impact of failure on confidence
In a culture that often emphasizes success and achievement, failure can be a hard pill to swallow. However, understanding that failure is a part of the process of living and learning can help build resilience and confidence.
It’s important to remember that self-confidence doesn’t solely come from external achievements, but from our thoughts about our abilities. Therefore, whether we succeed or fail, we have the power to retain our self-confidence.
Next, we’ll explore practical steps to gain confidence, providing actionable strategies that can help foster a stronger sense of self-assuredness.
10 ways to actually build confidence in yourself
Here’s all my top tips for boosting confidence that you can start applying in your life right away.
1. Self-reflection and journaling
One of the first steps to building confidence is understanding where your lack of confidence comes from. Self-reflection and journaling can be powerful tools for this.
By recording your thoughts and feelings, you can identify patterns and triggers for low self-confidence. This process can help you understand the root cause of your self-doubt and provide a roadmap for building confidence.
Here’s a really important tip to keep in mind: be flexible with journaling and don’t become overly disciplined about it. You want this to be a fun and enjoyable ritual, not a chore. If you get to a point where journaling becomes a habitual process and you feel like you “have to” do it versus “want to” do it, it’s a good time to stop and re-assess your intentions for journaling. Approach this practice with curiosity and abundance, rather than guilt and lack.
Also, note that this is an ongoing process. You aren’t going to become confident overnight. As you continue to pursue things outside of your comfort zone, you will inevitably find the “terror barrier” that will reignite the same old patterns and behaviors from a lack of confidence. So whenever these patterns re-emerge, remember to write them down and intercept them.
2. Understand personal confidence
Confidence is a deeply personal experience. It’s important to understand what confidence feels like for you and how you’ll know when you’ve reached a satisfactory level of self-confidence.
This could be speaking up more at work, wearing an outfit you’ve always wanted to, or introducing yourself to someone new. By identifying what confidence looks like for you, you can measure your progress and celebrate your achievements.
Again, and I can’t emphasize this enough: really take the time to understand what confidence FEELS like for you. Don’t get caught up in the intellectual and conceptual side of it. You have to feel it! Ask yourself these questions:
- How does the most confident version of yourself act and behave around others?
- What is his or her posture like?
- How does he/she carry themselves around others?
- What energy does this person exude?
If it’s helpful, give that confident version of yourself a name (i.e. Spiritual Self, Higher Self), and get crystal clear on what this looks like for you. From there, you can learn how to connect with this bold and limitless part of you.
To do this, I recommend doing meditations and visualizations that will help you connect with your heart, intuition, and higher self. A simple Google or YouTube search on these types of meditations will yield some incredible results.
Once you gain clarity on what self-confidence looks and feels like to you, becoming confident is easy!
How spirituality shapes confidence
Though much of our society today shuns spirituality and conflates it with organized religion, I believe that it is VERY important to become spiritual. Spirituality can mean 100 things to 100 different people, but for me, it’s an intimate connection with my spirit (God, Source or the Universe). Without spirituality, it’s easy to become lost, vulnerable, and lack a raison d’etre.
For me, spirituality is a process of learning how to trust. Not only trust in myself and my abilities, but also trust in the Universe that everything works out for me. Even when “bad” things happen, I look at them as happening “for me” rather than “to me.” If you can build faith that life is a gift and everything that happens (good or bad) is for your greatest good, you will exude confidence as a result.
Is spirituality one of the best ways to build confidence? You bet!
3. Align your actions with personal values
Confidence grows when our actions align with our values. So before you proceed, I recommend getting absolutely clear on what your values are. Be as specific as possible and define your values in a way that there is no ambiguity.
So instead of just writing down ‘vague’ terms like love, kindness, and adventure, really make the extra effort to know and feel what these values mean to you. Here’s a few examples of my values:
- Boldness: Getting after it no matter what. Feeling fear and doing it anyway
- Love: Intimacy and connection with others
- Freedom: A lifestyle allowing me to do what I want, whenever I want. No recurring meetings and no obligations that are against my nature
Notice that I didn’t use dictionary definitions for these values. They came from the heart, not the mind. I encourage you to do the same when considering your values!
This exercise is extremely important for building confidence, so if you haven’t done it before, I highly recommend doing it now. Confidence isn’t a quick ordeal – it takes conscious effort and action. This is an exercise that will not only benefit you immensely in the long term, it will also increase your confidence right away.
Just for reference, here are more of my core values and what they mean to me.
My core values:
- I am a man of integrity: I always strive to do the right thing, even when it’s hard. I am a man of my word. When I commit to things, I commit fully. I am reliable.
- I elevate people’s vibration: I bring out the best in others. I always inspire others, lighten up the mood, and make people feel good about themselves. My lighthearted and playful spirit affects everyone I meet in a meaningful way. My passion is contagious. I make others feel loved & cherished. I am funny, fun, and spontaneous.
- I am the protector: I motivate and inspire others to overcome obstacles. I exhibit remarkable leadership qualities that make people feel protected and at ease when they are around me. I am strong, bold, and confident – I always look after my family, friends, and the community at large. I bring out confidence in others.
- I am growing everyday: Each day, I learn something new that benefits myself and others. I enjoy acquiring knowledge and sharing it with the world. Life is a journey, and I am committed to making progress on this journey every day. When I encounter obstacles and fear, I learn what I need to know in order to overcome it.
- I am considerate: I show up for all the important people in my life & am fully engaged and present. I am a good listener and genuinely care for others. I am kind in my interactions with others. I am thoughtful.
- I am loving: I embrace others with an open mind and open heart. I see the best in others and share my affection in various ways. I am an amazing husband, son, brother, cousin, nephew, grandson, friend, and mentor.
4. Change your self talk
Our internal dialogue plays a significant role in shaping our confidence. Negative self-talk can erode our self-esteem, while positive self-talk can boost our confidence and change the way we perceive ourselves and our abilities.
By consciously shifting our self-talk to be more positive and supportive, we can foster a stronger sense of self-confidence.
Replacing “should” with empowering language
The language we use in our self-talk matters. If you find yourself frequently using the word “should,” take a step back and reflect. Are these expectations coming from you, or are they imposed by others or society?
Words like “should” can impose external expectations and pressures on us. This leads to feelings of guilt or inadequacy when we don’t meet these expectations.
Other expressions I’ve removed from my vocabulary are “I need to” and “I have to.” The truth is, you always have a choice of whether or not you want to do something in a given moment. You don’t “have to” do anything.
Instead of using these expressions, consider more empowering language like “I choose to,” “I want to,” or “I get to.” This subtle shift in language can make a significant difference in how we perceive our actions and decisions, leading to increased confidence.
Challenging negative self-talk
Negative self-talk often stems from deep-seated beliefs about ourselves. It’s important to challenge these beliefs and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.
When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, pause and ask yourself:
- Is this really true?
- Is there evidence to support this belief?
- Are there other, more positive ways to view this situation?
By challenging negative self-talk, you can start to change your thought patterns and build confidence.
My #1 tip when addressing negative self talk
When challenging the negative self talk, remember to do so with compassion. Remember that the mind (the part of you that is initiating these thoughts) is doing this to protect you from harm. For example: fearful thoughts are designed to protect us from danger. It may seem toxic and annoying at times, but remember that your intellect is a valued member of your team.
Instead of aggressively fighting with my mind, I always aim to accept the thoughts when they come and then redirect my focus and attention to ideas that are more helpful. This is the essence of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). If you aren’t familiar, I highly recommend reading the book: The Happiness Trap. This information totally transformed my life!
Affirmations for confidence
Affirmations are positive statements that can help overcome negative thoughts and self-sabotaging behaviors. Regularly practicing affirmations can help develop confidence.
Create a list of affirmations that resonate with you, such as “I am capable and strong,” “I believe in my abilities,” or “I am worthy of success.” Remember to make these work for you and don’t sound robotic or rehearsed. “I am a badass” works great, too 😉
One of my favorite affirmations is “I am getting stronger everyday.” Because even when I feel weak in certain areas of my life, it helps remind me that this is a journey. Even though I’m not at my strongest yet, I am making progress daily!
When doing affirmations, it’s important to remember that words alone are useless. For many people who recite affirmations, it does absolutely nothing because on a subconscious level, they don’t believe what they’re saying. So when you’re using affirmations, back them up with specific instances in your life when you exhibited those qualities. The mind only listens if you provide evidence that what you’re saying is true, so really FEEL into that.
Repeat these affirmations regularly to reinforce positive self-talk and boost your confidence.
5. Set and achieve small goals
If you want to achieve big things in life, you have to start small.
Setting and achieving small, realistic goals can help build confidence. These goals should stretch your abilities but still be achievable. Each small victory will build your confidence and prepare you for bigger challenges.
This strategy works on two levels: it allows you to celebrate small victories, and it gradually prepares you for larger challenges.
When setting goals, it’s important to start small. Choose tasks that are slightly challenging but still within your reach. This could be anything from reading a book in a month to running a mile without stopping. The key is to select a goal that stretches your abilities but doesn’t overwhelm you.
Celebrate your victories
Each time you achieve a goal, no matter how small, take the time to celebrate. This could be as simple as acknowledging your accomplishment or rewarding yourself with a treat. Celebrating your victories reinforces your success and boosts your confidence.
Gradually increase the challenge
As you become more comfortable with achieving small goals, gradually increase the challenge. This could mean setting a larger goal or tackling a task that’s outside of your comfort zone. By gradually increasing the difficulty of your goals, you’re continuously stretching your abilities and building your confidence.
Consistency is key
Consistency is key when it comes to building confidence. Make it a habit to set and achieve small goals regularly. Over time, this practice will strengthen your self-belief and boost your confidence.
6. Take care of your mind and body
Our minds and bodies are intricately connected, and taking care of both is crucial for building confidence. Physical health can impact our mental state, and vice versa. By nurturing both, we can foster a stronger sense of self-confidence.
Prioritizing self-care and wellness
The journey to developing confidence is deeply intertwined with the practice of self-care and wellness. Taking care of both your physical and mental health is crucial in fostering a strong sense of self-confidence. Here’s how you can incorporate self-care into your routine:
- Regular exercise: Engage in regular physical activity that you enjoy. Exercise releases endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters, and helps you feel more comfortable in your own skin, which can boost your self-esteem.
- Nutritious diet: Nourishing your body with a balanced diet of nutritious foods can help you feel your best physically, which can, in turn, boost your confidence.
- Adequate rest: Ensuring you’re getting enough sleep is crucial for physical health and mental clarity. Rest rejuvenates your body and mind, preparing you for the challenges ahead with renewed energy and focus.
- Mindfulness and meditation: Regular mindfulness and meditation practices can help you stay present, manage stress, and foster a positive mindset. These practices can help you navigate your emotions more effectively, leading to increased self-confidence.
- Self-reflection: Regular self-reflection can help you understand your emotions, identify limiting beliefs, and foster self-awareness. This understanding can be a powerful tool in boosting your confidence.
- Seeking support: If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek support. This could involve talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking professional help, or joining a support group. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
By prioritizing self-care and wellness, you’re not only taking care of your physical and mental health but also nurturing your self-confidence.
7. The power of doing hard things
Doing hard things, particularly those that push us out of our comfort zones, can significantly boost our confidence. When we take on difficult challenges, we not only test our limits but also discover our capabilities. Each challenge we overcome serves as a reminder of our resilience, strength, and ability to handle adversity. This, in turn, builds our confidence and prepares us for future challenges.
Physical challenges and confidence
Physical challenges can be powerful confidence builders. Whether it’s running a marathon, climbing a mountain, taking a cold plunge, or learning a new sport, these challenges push us to our physical limits and teach us that we’re stronger than we think.
I’ve always known this, but it wasn’t until last year when I FULLY understood the power of doing physical challenges. I was on a Wim Hof retreat in Iceland — jumping into ice-cold lakes and hiking to the top of mountains in just a bathing suit in subfreezing temperatures — when I fully connected with the deepest (and strongest) part of myself.
During this experience, I learned about breathwork, meditation, and other techniques to not only survive, but THRIVE in such difficult conditions. The key takeaway? Physical challenges connect us to our primal nature – allowing us to discover our full potential and all the confidence that comes with it.
Make physical activity a priority every day
Starting last year, I’ve made physical activity an important part of my daily routine. I workout nearly everyday – doing HIIT workouts, yoga, strength and conditioning classes, and more. Since I’ve made fitness a priority, my self confidence has gone through the roof.
There’s definitely something to be said about how stress and anxiety can get stored in the body, and physical exertion is a powerful way to get it out. In addition, I feel better about my body (and physical abilities) than ever before, also boosting my self esteem.
It’s easy to see why physical exertion is one of the best ways to develop confidence. The sense of accomplishment we feel upon completing a physical challenge can significantly boost our self-esteem and confidence.
The concept of Misogi
Misogi, a concept rooted in Shinto tradition, involves undertaking a seemingly impossible challenge to push one’s physical and mental boundaries. The idea is not necessarily to complete the challenge, but to push oneself to the absolute limit. This practice can lead to profound personal growth and a significant boost in confidence.
I learned about the Misogi through Jesse Itzler, a serial entrepreneur and motivational speaker who commits to one of these extraordinary challenges once per year. The idea is to choose something where there is a 50-50 chance of success…something that pushes you to your physical and mental edge without putting you in any clear danger.
For instance: run a marathon, hike to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, or do an Ironman Triathlon. By attempting something incredibly difficult once per year, it will lead to a quantum leap and give you added confidence for the other 364 days per year. And in doing so, you’ll learn to embrace failure, build resilience, and discover your true potential.
8. Surround yourself with like-minded people
Ask yourself: how do your friends make you feel? Do they bring you down or lift you up? Are they judgmental and critical of you, or do they accept you just as you are?
The people you spend the most time with can dramatically shape your thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs about yourself…more than you may realize.
Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals can significantly boost your confidence. These people can provide support, share similar experiences, and offer fresh perspectives that align with your values and goals. They can also provide constructive feedback and encouragement, which can bolster your self-esteem and confidence.
Finding your tribe
Do you ever feel like you’re “settling” in relationships in your life? Are you getting enough support and encouragement from your friend group? If not, then this tip on how to gain confidence is for you!
Finding a community of like-minded individuals can take time and effort, but the benefits are well worth it. This could involve joining clubs or groups related to your interests, doing group fitness classes, participating in online communities, or attending events and workshops in your field of interest. Look for environments where you feel accepted, inspired, and motivated to grow.
It’s easy to talk yourself out of getting involved in community-oriented events. But here’s the thing: the temporary discomfort of getting yourself out there is far outweighed by the prospects of deep friendships later on.
The best things in life require effort, and relationships are no different. Really being intentional about this can make a world of difference in your confidence levels (and life, in general)!
The role of community in confidence building
Being part of a community can contribute to confidence building in several ways:
- Shared Experiences: Sharing experiences with like-minded individuals can validate your feelings and experiences, which can boost your self-esteem and confidence.
- Support and Encouragement: A supportive community can provide encouragement during challenging times, helping you maintain your confidence and resilience.
- Learning and Growth: Like-minded individuals can offer new ideas, insights, and perspectives that can stimulate your personal growth and boost your confidence.
- Accountability: A community can also provide accountability, helping you stay committed to your goals and boosting your confidence as you achieve them.
9. Focus on your posture, it matters a lot
Our body language, particularly our posture, can significantly impact our confidence. Research has shown that adopting an upright, open posture can boost our self-esteem, reduce feelings of fear and stress, and improve our mood.
How posture affects confidence
When we stand tall with our shoulders back and our head held high, we project an image of self-assuredness. This not only influences how others perceive us but also how we perceive ourselves. Adopting a confident posture can make us feel more confident, creating a positive feedback loop.
Improving your posture
Here are some strategies for improving your posture and boost your confidence:
- Be Mindful: Pay attention to your posture throughout the day. Are your shoulders hunched? Is your back slouched? By being mindful of your posture, you can make necessary adjustments and develop healthier habits. I recommend trying out a posture corrector strap to help you with this.
- Exercise regularly: Regular exercise, particularly strength training and flexibility exercises, can improve your posture. Exercises that target the core and back muscles can be particularly beneficial.
- Set Up a healthy workspace: If you spend a lot of time sitting, ensure your workspace is set up to support good posture. Your monitor should be at eye level, your chair should support your lower back, and your feet should be flat on the floor. I HIGHLY recommend buying a standing desk like this one.
- Take regular breaks: If you’re sitting for extended periods, take regular breaks to stand up and stretch. This can prevent stiffness and encourage better posture.
By focusing on your posture, you’re not only improving your physical health but also boosting your confidence. In the next section, we’ll explore the concept of self-compassion and its role in building confidence.
10. Hire a coach to help you gain confidence
A coach can play a pivotal role in your journey to build confidence. Coaches provide guidance, support, and accountability, helping you navigate challenges and reach your goals. They can offer fresh perspectives, challenge limiting beliefs, and equip you with strategies to boost your confidence.
There are many types of coaches out there, and I’ve had the privilege of trying out many. This includes business and life coaches, a personal trainer, breathwork coach, posture coach, and a men’s group program that I was a part of. I’m pretty obsessed with personal development, hence why I’ve dabbled in many of these areas. However, if you’re seeking how to gain confidence, I recommend going with a confidence coach.
Life and confidence coaching
While there are many types of coaches out there, seeking one that combines life coaching with confidence coaching can be particularly beneficial. A confidence coach can help you navigate life’s challenges, set and achieve goals, and build a strong sense of self-confidence. They can provide tools and techniques to boost your self-esteem, improve your self-talk, and foster a positive mindset.
Personal experience with coaching
As a testament to the power of coaching, I’ve had the privilege of working with Christina Lecuyer, a renowned business and life coach. Christina is a former professional golfer and TV personality who is one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever met.
Christina’s coaching has been instrumental in elevating all aspects of my life. Her insights, guidance, and support have not only helped me navigate challenges and achieve my goals but also made me a happier and more confident individual.
Hiring a coach can be a transformative investment in your personal growth and confidence-building journey. It’s an opportunity to gain insights, develop skills, and foster a stronger sense of self-assuredness.
PS: Christina is often fully booked with clients, but you can get special preference if you tell her I recommended you (Jon Miksis).
11. Consume content that encourage self-confidence
The internet and social media are powerful tools for personal development. By immersing myself in self-help and self-discovery content, I’ve totally rewired many patterns of anxiety and limiting beliefs. If you can make this content your world, you will see results.
The power of self-help books
There are two ways to acquire knowledge: your own experiences and learning about someone else’s.
Self-help books can be a valuable resource on your journey to building confidence. They provide insights, strategies, and practical advice that can help you understand and overcome your self-doubt. Reading about others’ experiences and learning from their wisdom can provide inspiration and motivation, boosting your confidence.
Following motivational people on social media
Social media can be a wonderful tool for inspiration and motivation. Following motivational people can provide daily reminders of your potential and worth. Their stories, advice, and positivity can help foster a positive mindset and boost your confidence.
However, remember to consume social media mindfully and take regular breaks to prevent comparison and information overload.
If you don’t do so already, here’s my shameless plug to follow me on Instagram: @Global.Viewpoint. This is where I share inspirational travel content and tips in personal development & self-discovery!
Listening to confidence-boosting podcasts
Podcasts can be a great source of inspiration and learning. There are numerous podcasts that focus on personal development, confidence building, and self-improvement.
These podcasts often feature experts and inspirational figures who share their experiences, insights, and advice. For instance, look up podcasts featuring David Goggins, Jesse Itzler, and Wim Hof. Listening to these podcasts can provide valuable strategies for building confidence and inspire you to take action.
By incorporating these resources into your routine, you’re not only learning and growing but also nurturing your self-confidence. In the next section, we’ll explore the concept of self-compassion and its role in building confidence.
12. Adopt a growth mindset
A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. This perspective contrasts with a fixed mindset, which views abilities as innate and unchangeable.
A growth mindset can significantly boost our confidence. It encourages us to embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, and see effort as a path to mastery. It also helps us understand that criticism is a valuable source of learning, and that the success of others can be a source of inspiration and learning, rather than a threat.
Embracing a growth mindset
Having a growth mindset involves changing the way we think about abilities and potential. Here are a few strategies:
- Embrace challenges: Instead of avoiding challenges, see them as opportunities for growth. Each challenge is a chance to learn something new and improve your skills.
- Celebrate effort: Instead of focusing solely on outcomes, celebrate the effort you put into your work. This shift in focus can help you appreciate the process of learning and growth, rather than just the end result.
- Learn from criticism: Instead of taking criticism personally, use it as a tool for improvement. Constructive feedback can provide valuable insights into how you can improve.
- Find inspiration in the success of others: Instead of feeling threatened by the success of others, use their achievements as inspiration. Their success can serve as a model for what’s possible with hard work and dedication.
By adopting a growth mindset, you can foster a stronger sense of self-confidence and resilience, equipping you to face life’s challenges with courage and determination.
13. Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparison is often said to be the thief of joy, and it can also be a significant barrier to building confidence.
When we compare ourselves to others, we often focus on what we perceive as their successes and our shortcomings. This skewed perspective can erode our self-esteem and confidence.
It’s important to remember that each person’s journey is unique, and comparing ourselves to others doesn’t provide an accurate measure of our worth or abilities.
The role of social media
As a travel influencer on Instagram, I can say that this one hits close to home.
In today’s digital age, social media often fuels comparison. We’re constantly exposed to curated highlights of other people’s lives, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
While social media can be a source of inspiration and connection, it’s essential to use it mindfully to protect our self-esteem and confidence.
Taking a break from social media
Taking regular breaks from social media can help maintain a healthy perspective and prevent comparison from undermining your confidence. These breaks can provide a respite from the constant influx of information and allow you to reconnect with yourself and your values.
This is why I love doing digital detox retreats. They are certainly a great way to get off the grid and get back to what truly matters in life.
Setting boundaries on social media
Setting boundaries on social media can also help protect your confidence. This could involve limiting your time on social media, curating your feed to include only positive and inspiring content, or choosing not to engage with posts that trigger comparison or self-doubt.
Remember, your value and worth are not determined by how you compare to others but by your own journey, growth, and achievements.
14. Deal with failure
Failure is an inevitable part of life. Whether it’s a missed opportunity, a rejected proposal, or a failed project, we all experience setbacks.
Sometimes failure is our own fault. Other times, it’s out of our control. Regardless- each of us has a choice on how to perceive and respond to failure. And in the process, we can significantly impact our confidence.
One of the first steps to dealing with failure is to reframe it. Instead of viewing failure as a negative outcome, see it as a learning opportunity.
Each failure provides valuable insights that can help us improve and grow. By reframing failure, we can shift our focus from the negative outcome to the lessons learned, which can boost our confidence and resilience.
The role of failure in building confidence
While it may seem counterintuitive, failure can actually help build confidence. When we face failure, we’re forced to confront our fears and insecurities. This process can be uncomfortable, but it’s also an opportunity for growth.
When I look back to moments of my life when I lacked confidence, it was always during periods when I was deep in my comfort zone. In those times, I was careful not to make mistakes or show vulnerability. On the other hand, my most confident moments in life have been when I’ve put myself out there – tackling challenges and embracing the risk of failure.
Each time we bounce back from a failure, we prove to ourselves that we’re resilient and capable of overcoming challenges. This can significantly boost our self-confidence. Remember – confidence isn’t just handed to you, you’ve gotta build it!
Strategies for dealing with failure
Here are a few strategies for dealing with failure:
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself when you fail. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them define you. Remember that everyone experiences failure and that it’s not a reflection of your worth or abilities.
- Analyze the failure: Take some time to analyze the failure. What went wrong? What could you have done differently? What can you learn from this experience? This analysis can provide valuable insights for future endeavors.
- Create a plan of action: Based on your analysis, create a plan of action for moving forward. This plan can help you address the issues that led to the failure and prevent similar failures in the future.
- Keep going: Don’t let failure stop you from pursuing your goals. Keep going, keep trying, and keep learning. Each step, even the ones that don’t go as planned, brings you closer to your goals.
15. Build confidence through emotional understanding
Emotions, both positive and negative, are a natural part of the human experience. They come and go, ebbing and flowing like waves in the ocean. Understanding this can significantly impact our confidence, particularly when dealing with negative emotions.
The temporality of negative emotions
Negative emotions, such as fear, doubt, and disappointment, can often feel overwhelming. They can cloud our judgment, skew our perspective, and erode our confidence. However, it’s important to remember that these emotions are temporary. They will pass, and they don’t define us or our abilities.
Understanding the temporality of emotions can help build confidence in several ways:
- Resilience: Knowing that negative emotions are temporary can help us build resilience. It enables us to weather emotional storms, secure in the knowledge that they will pass.
- Emotional management: Understanding our emotions can also help us manage them more effectively. Instead of being swept away by negative emotions, we can acknowledge them, allow them to be, and let them pass without letting them undermine our confidence.
- Self-compassion: Recognizing that everyone experiences negative emotions can foster self-compassion. It reminds us that we’re not alone in our struggles, which can help us be kinder to ourselves when we’re feeling down.
- Growth: Finally, negative emotions can be catalysts for growth. They can highlight areas where we need to grow or change, providing valuable insights that can help us build confidence.
Just remember, no matter what types of fears or shame you’re going through: this too shall pass…
16. Face your fears head-on
Fear is a powerful emotion that can hold us back from pursuing our goals and living life to the fullest. However, when we face our fears head-on, we can overcome these barriers and boost our confidence.
Facing fears and building confidence
Facing your fears can significantly boost your confidence. Each time you confront a fear, you prove to yourself that you’re stronger and more capable than you thought. You learn that fear doesn’t have to hold you back, and this realization can significantly boost your self-confidence.
Here are some strategies for facing your fears:
- Identify your fears: The first step in facing your fears is to identify them. What are you afraid of? What’s holding you back? By identifying your fears, you can start to understand them and develop strategies to confront them. Write them down and own them.
- Take small steps: Start by taking small steps to confront your fears. If public speaking scares you, start by speaking up in small group settings before gradually working your way up to larger audiences. Each small victory will build your confidence and prepare you for bigger challenges.
- Practice exposure: Exposure therapy, a common treatment for phobias and anxiety disorders, involves gradual and repeated exposure to the source of your fear. Over time, this exposure can reduce your fear response and boost your confidence.
- Seek support: Don’t hesitate to seek support when facing your fears. This could involve talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking professional help, or joining a support group. Remember, you don’t have to face your fears alone.
Facing your fears can be a powerful confidence-building exercise. It’s a testament to your courage, resilience, and strength, and each fear you conquer boosts your self-confidence.
17. Learn the art of saying “no”
Saying “no” can be challenging, especially when we fear disappointing others.
However, learning to say “no” is a crucial skill in setting boundaries and protecting our time, energy, and well-being. It allows us to prioritize our needs and make decisions that align with our values and goals.
This has been one of my biggest challenges on my self-discovery journey, and I’m so glad I’ve committed myself to doing this.
Saying “no” and confidence
Learning to say “no” can significantly boost our confidence. It reinforces the understanding that our needs and feelings are valid and important. Each time we assertively say “no,” we affirm our self-worth, which can boost our self-confidence.
Here are some strategies to practice saying “no”:
- Value your time: Recognize that your time is valuable. You have the right to decide how you spend it. If a request doesn’t align with your priorities or values, it’s okay to say “no.”
- Be assertive: Be clear and assertive when saying “no.” You don’t need to justify or apologize for your decision. A simple “I can’t commit to this right now” or “I need to pass on this” is enough.
- Practice self-compassion: It’s normal to feel guilty or uncomfortable when you start saying “no.” Be kind to yourself during this process. Remember that setting boundaries is a form of self-care.
- Start small: If saying “no” feels daunting, start small. Practice saying “no” to smaller requests before working your way up to larger ones.
By learning to say “no,” you’re not only setting boundaries but also building your confidence.
18. Authenticity and integrity: Be yourself and do the right thing
Last (but not least) on my round-up of the best ways to develop confidence: be yourself and do the right thing.
The power of authenticity
Being authentic means being true to who you are. It involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs honestly and openly. Authenticity can significantly boost your confidence. When you’re true to yourself, you validate your own experiences and feelings, which can foster a strong sense of self-confidence.
The role of integrity
Integrity involves doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. It’s about aligning your actions with your values and principles. When you act with integrity, you reinforce your self-respect and self-worth, which can boost your confidence.
Authenticity, integrity, and confidence
Here are some strategies to foster authenticity and integrity:
- Self-reflection: Regular self-reflection can help you understand your values, beliefs, and feelings. This understanding can guide your actions and help you be more authentic.
- Honest communication: Practice expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly and respectfully. This can help you build authentic relationships and boost your confidence.
- Align actions with values: Strive to align your actions with your values. This can involve standing up for what you believe in, making decisions based on your values, or admitting when you’re wrong.
- Embrace your uniqueness: Each of us is unique, with our own strengths, weaknesses, experiences, and perspectives. Embrace your uniqueness and celebrate what makes you, you.
By being authentic and acting with integrity, you’re not only living in alignment with your true self but also building your confidence.
Benefits of boosting confidence
Building confidence has far-reaching benefits that extend beyond our personal lives into our professional and social spheres. Here are five of the key benefits of boosting your confidence:
Confidence can significantly improve your performance in various areas of life. Whether it’s giving a presentation, playing a sport, or learning a new skill, confidence can enhance your abilities and lead to better outcomes.
Confidence can lead to better decision-making. When you’re confident, you trust your abilities and judgment, which can help you make decisions more effectively and efficiently.
Confidence can increase your resilience, helping you bounce back from setbacks and challenges. When you’re confident, you believe in your ability to overcome obstacles, which can help you navigate life’s ups and downs more effectively.
Confidence can improve your relationships. When you’re confident, you’re more likely to express your thoughts and feelings, set boundaries, and advocate for your needs, all of which can lead to healthier and more satisfying relationships.
Greater happiness and satisfaction
Confidence can lead to greater happiness and satisfaction. When you’re confident, you’re more likely to pursue your passions, achieve your goals, and live in alignment with your values, all of which can contribute to a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs) about gaining confidence
Looking to begin practicing confidence in your daily life? Here are some common questions I get about the topic, all in one place!
What skills boost confidence?
Boosting confidence often involves developing a variety of skills. Here are some key skills that can help enhance your self-confidence:
- Communication skills: Being able to express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas effectively can significantly boost your confidence. This includes both verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
- Assertiveness: This is the ability to stand up for your rights and express your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a direct and honest way. Being assertive can help you set boundaries, manage conflict, and advocate for your needs, which can boost your confidence.
- Resilience: This is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. Resilience can help you navigate life’s ups and downs with confidence.
- Problem-solving skills: Being able to solve problems effectively can boost your confidence. This involves identifying problems, generating potential solutions, and implementing effective strategies.
- Self-management skills: This includes skills like time management, stress management, and emotional regulation. Being able to manage your time, handle stress, and regulate your emotions enhances self-confidence.
- Goal-setting skills: Setting and achieving goals can significantly boost your confidence. This involves identifying your goals, creating a plan of action, and tracking your progress.
- Mindfulness: This is the ability to stay present and focused, rather than getting caught up in negative thoughts or worries about the future. Mindfulness can help you manage stress, improve your focus, and boost your confidence.
- Social skills: Being able to interact effectively with others can enhance your confidence. This includes skills like active listening, empathy, and conflict resolution.
- Positive self-talk: This is the ability to speak to yourself in a positive and supportive way. Positive self-talk can help you manage stress, overcome challenges, and boost your confidence.
By developing these skills, you can enhance your self-confidence and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and effectiveness.
How do you fix low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem can be challenging to overcome, but with patience and consistent effort, it’s entirely possible to improve your self-image. Here are some strategies to help fix low self-esteem:
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and has weaknesses, and these don’t define your worth.
- Challenge negative self-talk: Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself. If you often criticize yourself or focus on your flaws, work on shifting your self-talk to be more positive and supportive.
- Set realistic expectations: It’s good to set high standards, but unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure. Set goals that are challenging yet achievable, and celebrate your progress along the way.
- Focus on your strengths: Everyone has strengths and talents. Spend time doing what you’re good at and enjoy. This can help you build confidence and improve your self-esteem.
- Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical health can also improve your mental well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can all contribute to a better self-image.
How do I build confidence everyday?
Building confidence is a daily practice. Here are some motivational ideas to help you build confidence every day:
- Start your day with positivity: Begin each day with a positive affirmation or mantra. This could be something like, “I am capable and strong,” or “Today, I will embrace challenges with courage.”
- Set daily goals: Set small, achievable goals for each day. This could be as simple as completing a task at work, trying a new recipe, or finishing a chapter of a book. Achieving these goals can boost your confidence.
- Practice gratitude: Each day, take a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for. This can help shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones, boosting your mood and confidence.
- Take care of your physical health: Engage in physical activity every day. This could be a workout, a walk in the park, or a yoga session. Physical activity releases endorphins, which can boost your mood and confidence.
- Challenge negative thoughts: Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, challenge these thoughts. Ask yourself if they’re really true, and try to replace them with more positive or balanced thoughts.
- Step outside your comfort zone: Each day, try to do something that challenges you or pushes you out of your comfort zone. This could be speaking up in a meeting, trying a new activity, or learning a new skill.
- Practice self-care: Make time each day for self-care. This could be reading a book, taking a bath, meditating, or any other activity that helps you relax and recharge.
What are the 5 ways to boost your confidence?
Boosting confidence can be achieved through various methods. Here are five effective ways to enhance your self-confidence:
- Practice self-acceptance: Embrace who you are, including your strengths and weaknesses. Recognize that everyone has unique abilities and areas for improvement. Celebrate your achievements, learn from your mistakes, and strive to be the best version of yourself.
- Set and achieve goals: Setting realistic goals and working towards them can significantly boost your confidence. Each small victory along the way can reinforce your belief in your abilities. Remember to celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
- Maintain a positive mindset: Cultivate a positive attitude and practice positive self-talk. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Remember, your thoughts can greatly influence your feelings and behaviors.
- Take care of your physical health: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can all contribute to improved self-confidence. When you feel good physically, it often translates into feeling good mentally.
- Face your fears: Stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears can greatly boost your confidence. Each time you overcome a fear, you prove to yourself that you are capable and resilient.
Remember, building confidence is a journey, not a destination. It takes time and practice, so be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.
Boosting your confidence: Recap
I hope you enjoyed reading my article on how to boost confidence! This piece took me a heck of a long time to write, as it was based on everything I’ve learned in hundreds of self-help books and over a dozen personal development retreats. Of course, there are many more ways on how to build confidence in yourself. But these are the big areas that I think make the most sense to focus on.
Are there any other ways that you’ve done to develop your self-confidence? Let me know in the comments below, or on my Instagram! If any of this content has resonated with you, I would love to hear that as well. Feedback like this really keeps me going!
Best wishes on your inner journey! Much love -Jon